So, I've been back in good 'ol America for 20 days now, and I will simply say that I still do not know how to describe my summer. Many people know about my trip and have a general idea of how I spent my summer. Being the kind and caring people that they are, they ask: "How was your trip? How was your time in India? Did you have a good summer?" These questions along with other similar ones are asked again and again. Like much small talk, they aren't expecting a long drawn out answer and details about how certain days were long, how I got sick, and some of the challenging things. As I said, it's small talk. People want a few word answer. They want to hear, "Oh it was great!" or, "Yeah, God definitely showed me a lot of things this summer." or, "It was hard, but I learned a lot." or maybe even, "It sure was hot!"
To the people who are listening to me, and asking me questions, that may seem like a sufficient answer, but it is not sufficient to me. I spent 2 and a half months in another country and in another culture that is completely different from my own. How do I take all of the things that happened to and around me in that time and put in one sentence? I cannot find a way to do it. Most of the time, when people are asking me such questions, I usually find myself stumbling over my words trying to come up with a description or maybe even a slight glimpse of what it was like for me...but I can't. So what do I do? I refer to one of the insufficient answers...and continue on my way, because that is what they wanted to hear...and even if they had time to hear more, I don't have the words to take it...
I am not speaking against these people because they are all very dear to me and many of them prayed for me during my time in India and kept up with the few reports that I could give. The problem is a two way street. They weren't there with me the entire time I was in India and I don't have the words or capabilities of helping them to understand what it was like for me. Even if I had all of the right words, the right pictures, and the right way of taking people through every day that I was there it still would not be enough. More importantly, I'm still processing the entire trip! I still don't know all of the things that I have learned or have a full understanding of how much I have been changed!
What do I say? What can I do? There are often times late at night when I find myself spending hours thinking about what I did this summer. No matter how many hours I spend thinking about the summer, I still can't find the words. It's as if I am trying to catch smoke with my bare hand. When will my mind finally wrap itself around the correct and precise order of words? Will I ever have a firm and solid grasp upon what happened? Sure, I can recite stories and mention that this happened here and that happened over there and this is what God taught me throughout the whole summer. But what does it all mean together? This has to mean something. It cannot only be an adventure. I'm still looking, still thinking, and still processing. Only time will tell, and maybe when that day comes I can come back and tell you about it.
To the people who are listening to me, and asking me questions, that may seem like a sufficient answer, but it is not sufficient to me. I spent 2 and a half months in another country and in another culture that is completely different from my own. How do I take all of the things that happened to and around me in that time and put in one sentence? I cannot find a way to do it. Most of the time, when people are asking me such questions, I usually find myself stumbling over my words trying to come up with a description or maybe even a slight glimpse of what it was like for me...but I can't. So what do I do? I refer to one of the insufficient answers...and continue on my way, because that is what they wanted to hear...and even if they had time to hear more, I don't have the words to take it...
I am not speaking against these people because they are all very dear to me and many of them prayed for me during my time in India and kept up with the few reports that I could give. The problem is a two way street. They weren't there with me the entire time I was in India and I don't have the words or capabilities of helping them to understand what it was like for me. Even if I had all of the right words, the right pictures, and the right way of taking people through every day that I was there it still would not be enough. More importantly, I'm still processing the entire trip! I still don't know all of the things that I have learned or have a full understanding of how much I have been changed!
What do I say? What can I do? There are often times late at night when I find myself spending hours thinking about what I did this summer. No matter how many hours I spend thinking about the summer, I still can't find the words. It's as if I am trying to catch smoke with my bare hand. When will my mind finally wrap itself around the correct and precise order of words? Will I ever have a firm and solid grasp upon what happened? Sure, I can recite stories and mention that this happened here and that happened over there and this is what God taught me throughout the whole summer. But what does it all mean together? This has to mean something. It cannot only be an adventure. I'm still looking, still thinking, and still processing. Only time will tell, and maybe when that day comes I can come back and tell you about it.
