Regulars

Saddest thing I have seen in a long time...

I could be classified as a regular at a local coffee shop in Louisville, KY. Good environment, great location, And I have cranked out some papers and reading in that place!

During my high frequency of visits I noticed a couple that also frequented and could come under the same classification of "regulars." They are both still fairly young, in college, late teens or early twenties. They would sit on the same side of a booth, be obnoxiously close and romantic with puppy dog eyes. One time they even held hands while working on there laptops and typing with one hand! Now that's dedication!

But today I showed up to the coffee shop as I normally do and I saw the guy on his laptop working on his computer. A little while later the girl came in and sat at a separate table. I thought maybe she was giving him space because at that point he was on the phone with someone and his laptop books and notebook were taking up the entirety of the two person table where he was sitting. He got off the phone...nothing...

45 minutes go by and neither one makes a move or even acknowledges the other. Maybe the guy is working on a super important project! Heck he could be in high school and studying for a final! That's pretty important, I thought.

All of the sudden the girl got up to leave and packed her things. I not very conspicuously watched and waited to see what would happen.

She gets up out of her chair, looks at the guy with a somber face, he looks up, she waves, he disinterestedly waves back, and then she leaves without saying a word...

Oh my heart hurt for them...more for her because she looked very sad and he looked like he didn't care.

But man...love sucks.

Dating Rule #12: Be prepared to see you ex or someone you used to date out at some of the same places you two would frequent together. You never expect it, but it will happen at some point or another. It's a small world after all.

Things I Wish I Had Said: "I don't believe you."

So I'm visiting a seminary that I have applied to and am considering attending to get my Masters of Divinity in Christian Ministry.  During the visit you meet with the Admissions team and they talk up the school, give you the history, talk about the professors, how awesome they are, how you should come, etc.  I get it.  That is their job, to get people to come to the school.

So during this visit, we get a tour of campus.  The tour was great and the campus was beautiful, and I really like the school.  We arrive at the end of the tour, and like many tour guides, our guide was a current student.  We had just been through two hours and a lunch of a brief history of the seminary and all of these various things that are pulling for us to come to the school and that THIS PLACE is the place where I need to come for my seminary education.

At the end of the tour, the tour guide asked, "Does anyone have any questions?"

Not being shy, I pipe up and ask, "Tell me some things that the seminary is not good at and needs to improve on.  What are some bad things about the seminary?"

The tour guide responded, "Honestly, I can't think of anything."

What I said: "Oh...ok." And left it at that.

What I should have said:  "I don't believe you."

No person, place, institution, government, or business is perfect.  To pretend otherwise is a lie, and of all places that should be first to admit its lack of perfection, it should be an institution where falling short of perfection is ingrained in what it teaches. A salesman should have the integrity to list the flaws and shortcomings or their merchandise.

Life Lesson: If you have to sacrifice honesty in order get someone to buy into something, you are selling the wrong thing.

Dating Chronicles: Ghost 👻

So I meet this girl, we talk for a little while and we are in that "get to know each other" stage.  I decide that the time has come for me to ask this girl out on a date.  I very clearly ask that I would love to get coffee or go out for ice cream sometime.

*Silence*

"Ok this girl is pretty good at getting back to me, and even though she may go a few hours without responding she usually replies within a day or so.  I'm not going to worry about it."

*Silence*

The next day: "Okay, maybe she is having a busy week."

A week goes by...

*Silence*

Well it looks like I have been ghosted.  That sucks because she seemed like a cool girl and just up out of nowhere she doesn't respond to me clearly asking her out on a date.  If that is not a sign that someone is not interested, I don't know what is.  But what can I do about it?  She did not respond to me asking her out on a date and it is consider faux pas to ask someone after the fact, "Hey, I know you ghosted me, but would you mind letting me know why you weren't interested?"  Yeah...that's never gonna happen.  Ghosting is disrespectful and the least a person can do is say, "Hey, I don't think this is going to work out." Or "I'm not feeling it." Or "I'm not interested, but thanks." Something that treats the person like a human being and not like an object.  Anyways, I digress...

No point in continuing to think about it or her because obviously nothing will ever come of it, so I better just move on.  Next song.

A months passes...

Message from this girl: "Soooo...did you lose interest or what's going on?"

I'm thinking, "This girl has some stones to say that after I asked her out on a date." I tell her that I texted her if she wanted to hang out and she never responded.  Apparently she, "Didn't see it" and that she didn't ghost me. In fact she doesn't ghost people in general. She also told me she was still interested, and she would love to go out on a date sometime....😑

So going against my better judgement we go out on a date. I like taking girls on dates because dates are fun, and like I said, she seemed like a cool girl. So, we get ice cream, and we have a good time. We go out again and we get sushi and we have a great time.  I kinda get busy with school and she does some traveling and our communication is sparse but we still chat and joke on a frequent basis.  One day we are texting and I ask her if she would like to go on another date.

*Silence*

Next day: "That's weird. Maybe I'll try calling her."  Call and leave a voicemail.

*Silence*

Next day: "Okay, maybe she is super busy, or driving on a long road trip, or taking a nap, or maybe she lost her phone. Hmmm, she still is posting on Instagram and Snapchat so she didn't lose her phone..."

Wait another day and: "Hey, did you get my voicemail the other day?"

*Silence*

Ghost me once, shame on you.  Ghost me twice, shame on me.

Dating lesson #9: If a girl ghosts you and then comes up with some B.S. excuse to text you and makes another B.S. excuse about how she didn't ghost you...don't respond...ever.

Cancer Sucks

Up until a few years ago, I confess that I did not personally know many people that were affected by cancer.  A few years ago that all changed.

My roommate from college: his mom died of leukemia
Another best friend from college: his mom died of stomach cancer
My pastor that I grew up in church under for 24 years: diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
My mom: diagnosed with breast cancer
My cousin: diagnosed with breast cancer and bone cancer
And just this past week one of my best friends that I've known since 3rd grade: diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia

All of this has happened in the past 2 and half years. I hate cancer and I have no doubt that God hates cancer also because it is a result of the broken world that we live in.

This past week I've been reading Psalm 119.  As hard as it may seem, I am given peace that even when life is hard, God is still good and still fully deserving of all worship and praise.  I hate cancer, but I know that cancer is not the end of the story. I have a God in heaven that loves me and loves all of these people enough to send his Son to die that we may have eternal life.  A life with no suffering, no pain, and no cancer.

Dear God, please come quickly and get rid of all cancer and brokenness, and sin. Amen.

2016: Worst Year Ever?

I know I'm a little late getting in on how 2016 was supposed to be one of the worst years ever.  If I was smarter I would say something about recency bias and something related to psychology.  But I am not a smart man so I will stay a long way away from it. I will say that for my life, a lot of good things happened during 2016.

My nephew was born

I moved to Louisville, KY for seminary

My sister married the man of her dreams

The Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years

And to cap it all off, my brother got engaged to the woman of his dreams.

All in all, 2016 wasn't too bad, and I am thankful for that.