This story takes place over the period of about a year and it starts in the fall of 2016. I've just moved to Louisville and started taking classes at Southern Seminary. Still single at this point, and being a guy, and mostly having guy friends, as a group you notice the young ladies that are also single and attractive in your immediate area.
Some of my friends think they have identified the most attractive girl on campus, but due to missed opportunities, bad timing, or just random chance: I am never with my friends when they see this girl. Naturally, every time they say that they have seen her, I ask if they have talked to her. The answer is always no. I state, very plainly I might add, that whenever they see this girl next, and if I am with them, I will talk to this girl and get to know her.
Now at this point in my life, I'm a bit older, a bit wiser, and I would like to think a bit more comfortable with who I am. If I want to meet and talk with someone, I'll go up and introduce myself and talk to them. By no means do I think that I am God's gift to women. I am simply confident in who I am and if I get rejected, I can let it roll off of my back.
One day, my friends and I are throwing baseball in the J Bowl (a large grassy area at the center of campus), and my friends point to me that the girl is walking by. I wave, ask her name, and we become friends. Simple as that. She is a really cool girl and we have great chemistry. We actually become really good friends, and I hesitate to ask her out because I am not sure if I am willing to risk losing such a cool friend. Not to mention, she is very attractive and every other dude is slobbering all over her to try and get a date with her...and that's not me.
Fast forward a year and we are still friends. We hang out on campus, share in what we are learning in classes, and bond over good music, food, things that make us laugh, and what we want out of life in the future.
One day, I see her on campus, and as friends do I walk up and talk to her. She then asks, "Do you like me?"
Honestly, I was shocked at how forward and blunt she was, so to give myself more time to think I asked for clarification, "What do you mean?"
But she didn't hesitate, "Do you like me?"
So I told her honestly, "I've thought about it, but I didn't know how you were going to respond, so that's why I haven't asked."
She thoughtfully answered, "Well, if you were going to ask me, I think I would say yes."
Quite the turn of events in the past few minutes. Hardly believing if she is joking with me or not, I remember that fortune has always favored the bold, so I asked her, "Will you go on a date with me?"
She smiles, "Yeah, I would really like that."
We set the date to get coffee. We then go our separate ways to study and go about the rest of our day. I'm feeling really great at this point. Came out of nowhere but I girl that I really enjoyed spending time with was now going to be going on a date with me, at her initiative!! I even saw some of my friends that had first identified her a year ago and was with me when I introduced myself to her while throwing baseball. It was a pretty great hour and a half.
She texts me and asks me where I am. Told her I was at the cafe on campus. She asks if I can meet her by the book store. I say of course, and I'm there in a few minutes, and a few minutes later she is saying that she is going to cancel the date because she doesn't think it is going to work between us.
To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Thankfully, as I said, I'm a bit older and a bit wiser and kept control of my face and emotions. I wanted to say many things about how dumb that was, that she was the one that basically asked me out, how she should have thought about this before bringing it up, and a great deal of many things, but I didn't. I said, "Ok, no worries."
I've learned that when people can change their minds so quickly on something, It's probably a good thing to get some distance from that person if you can. Emotional stability is a valuable commodity, and such a quick change on something like that shows, in my estimation a certain lack of maturity. There may be some that criticize me for being too harsh, saying it was just a date, and she wasn't actually committed to anything. But I would remind you, that she was the one that initiated, she was the one that wanted to be asked on a date, and when a date was set it took her only an hour and a half to change her mind on something that she probably had been thinking about for a while.
When someone leads you on and cuts the chord in such a short amount of time, just let it go and walk away. This former friend did my dirty. It was cold blooded, but I learned from it and I'm better for it now.
Dating Rule #1: Girls are fickle.
Some of my friends think they have identified the most attractive girl on campus, but due to missed opportunities, bad timing, or just random chance: I am never with my friends when they see this girl. Naturally, every time they say that they have seen her, I ask if they have talked to her. The answer is always no. I state, very plainly I might add, that whenever they see this girl next, and if I am with them, I will talk to this girl and get to know her.
Now at this point in my life, I'm a bit older, a bit wiser, and I would like to think a bit more comfortable with who I am. If I want to meet and talk with someone, I'll go up and introduce myself and talk to them. By no means do I think that I am God's gift to women. I am simply confident in who I am and if I get rejected, I can let it roll off of my back.
One day, my friends and I are throwing baseball in the J Bowl (a large grassy area at the center of campus), and my friends point to me that the girl is walking by. I wave, ask her name, and we become friends. Simple as that. She is a really cool girl and we have great chemistry. We actually become really good friends, and I hesitate to ask her out because I am not sure if I am willing to risk losing such a cool friend. Not to mention, she is very attractive and every other dude is slobbering all over her to try and get a date with her...and that's not me.
Fast forward a year and we are still friends. We hang out on campus, share in what we are learning in classes, and bond over good music, food, things that make us laugh, and what we want out of life in the future.
One day, I see her on campus, and as friends do I walk up and talk to her. She then asks, "Do you like me?"
Honestly, I was shocked at how forward and blunt she was, so to give myself more time to think I asked for clarification, "What do you mean?"
But she didn't hesitate, "Do you like me?"
So I told her honestly, "I've thought about it, but I didn't know how you were going to respond, so that's why I haven't asked."
She thoughtfully answered, "Well, if you were going to ask me, I think I would say yes."
Quite the turn of events in the past few minutes. Hardly believing if she is joking with me or not, I remember that fortune has always favored the bold, so I asked her, "Will you go on a date with me?"
She smiles, "Yeah, I would really like that."
We set the date to get coffee. We then go our separate ways to study and go about the rest of our day. I'm feeling really great at this point. Came out of nowhere but I girl that I really enjoyed spending time with was now going to be going on a date with me, at her initiative!! I even saw some of my friends that had first identified her a year ago and was with me when I introduced myself to her while throwing baseball. It was a pretty great hour and a half.
She texts me and asks me where I am. Told her I was at the cafe on campus. She asks if I can meet her by the book store. I say of course, and I'm there in a few minutes, and a few minutes later she is saying that she is going to cancel the date because she doesn't think it is going to work between us.
To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Thankfully, as I said, I'm a bit older and a bit wiser and kept control of my face and emotions. I wanted to say many things about how dumb that was, that she was the one that basically asked me out, how she should have thought about this before bringing it up, and a great deal of many things, but I didn't. I said, "Ok, no worries."
I've learned that when people can change their minds so quickly on something, It's probably a good thing to get some distance from that person if you can. Emotional stability is a valuable commodity, and such a quick change on something like that shows, in my estimation a certain lack of maturity. There may be some that criticize me for being too harsh, saying it was just a date, and she wasn't actually committed to anything. But I would remind you, that she was the one that initiated, she was the one that wanted to be asked on a date, and when a date was set it took her only an hour and a half to change her mind on something that she probably had been thinking about for a while.
When someone leads you on and cuts the chord in such a short amount of time, just let it go and walk away. This former friend did my dirty. It was cold blooded, but I learned from it and I'm better for it now.
Dating Rule #1: Girls are fickle.
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